Over the past few days I have been thinking a lot about the outcome of Monday’s appointment. I’m terrified, I know this will be difficult but I’m thankful for what God is teaching me already through this situation.
Last night I was praying and asking God to change this entire situation, to heal me of EDS, for there to be a way in which I would be free of all pain and so I wouldn’t have to go to London. I was afraid and was desperately crying out to God. During this, God reminded me of a verse in 2 Corinthians which says,
‘We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair, persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed.’ 4: 8-9.
At that moment I turned to that passage of scripture and began reading more. God was comforting me, encouraging me and reminding me that He will not let anything happen which I cannot cope with. Since Monday, the most frequent words I have said is ‘I will not be able to cope with this’ but God was telling me that yes I can’t cope alone, but with God I can. For God will protect and strengthen me. He won’t allow me to be crushed or destroyed and He will never leave me. I will be going to London and enduring whatever is thrown at me, but God will be going through it all with me.
Therefore I cannot give up now, I have to keep going and just deal with whatever I have to face. Yes I am afraid but I know that I have God and that is all that matters.
‘So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.’ 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
This next year will be difficult, but I’ve got our almighty strong God right by my side.