Just a little update, this is a blog which I want to be completely honest. Sometimes it is just easier to say “I’m okay,” to smile and pretend that everything is okay, whilst behind the scenes everything seems to be falling apart.
People like to hear stories of happiness, inspiration and laughter, but let’s be honest, life isn’t always easy, and being a Christian doesn’t mean that we should have to live our lives always being happy and positive, thinking everything is just wonderful. It’s not.
Sometimes it’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to admit that things aren’t going well and it’s perfectly normal to tell God exactly how we feel. Like Job it’s okay to cry out to God for answers, like Jesus, it’s perfectly normal to cry when we are upset.
So I’m going to admit that this journey I am on right now is hard. It’s frustrating, upsetting, painful and tiring. Each day seems to roll into one whether I’m laying in bed or in my chair and this life, this waiting for answers, this suffering is getting a little bit overwhelming and these past few days have been difficult. Filled with a mixture of tears, pain, dislocations and falls; and to be honest, I’m completely fed up.
However, this is okay to admit, it’s normal and natural to feel this way. I don’t write this for sympathy, instead I write this because God has been reminding me that it’s okay to admit weakness and I pray that you know this truth too because when we are weak we recognise how strong God is. I also want to give you an insight into what my life is really like right now. You might see me smiling and chatting with the only thing giving away something is wrong is my deformed shoulder and the fact I don’t move much. However, what I’ve shared is an insight into what’s underneath those layers, the reality of life, the reality of having a chronic illness.
Therefore tonight I cry out to God and ask Him for the endurance and perseverance to cope. I will lean on God, for He is my strength and I am weak.
‘In my weakness I have learned, like Moses, to lean hard on God. The weaker I am, the harder I lean, the stronger I discover Him to be. The stronger I discover God to be, the more resolute I am in this job He’s given me to do.’ (Joni Eareckson Tada, 2011)
I am so thankful that we can do hard things because we have our almighty strong God who will carry us through.
I pray tonight for all who read this, that you can lean on God, having the endurance to get through each day regardless of what is going on. Rely on the promises of God, because of Him we can do hard things, we can get through this.
‘You need to stick it out, staying with God’s plan so you’ll be there for the promised completion. It won’t be long now, he’s on the way; he’ll show up at any minute. We’re not quitters who lose out. Oh no! We’ll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way.’ Hebrews 10:36.
Story, L. (2011) What if you blessings come through raindrops?, Tennessee: New Spring Publishing.